Divorce Was Never Meant To Happen To Me

I’m standing in a mall looking at smoothie blenders with tears sliding down my cheeks.

I feel the familiar feeling that life has ripped me off.

I wasn’t supposed to be divorced. I was meant to one day be celebrating my 50th wedding anniversary looking at the crinkled, smiling face of my husband.

The man who was once my best friend.

And yet, here I am in a department store, welling up with tears in the appliance aisle because I can hear Bryan Adams telling me there’s ‘Something about Christmastime’.

Shut up, Bryan.

Christmas songs seem to always make me sad because they’re written for happy, contented, married people. They’re not written for divorcees who are reeling from the shock of having all of their future Christmases ripped away from them.

(The ones that they imagined they’d have).

Years later I still have these moments. But that’s what they are now.

Moments.

That moment passed quickly. I’m used to them now and I can work through them with the knowledge that it’s normal and fleeting.

As I write today, I feel ok. I’m looking forward to Christmas day.

And you will too.

But if you are still struggling with feeling like like has ‘ripped you off’ as you approach December 25th, I want to share with you eight of the most important life lessons that my divorce taught me.

I always find it extremely helpful to zoom out and look at the bigger picture when I start to feel as though this wasn’t meant to have happened to me.

Read it here 👉 How To Find Gratitude For Your Divorce

Even when I can honestly say that there was no possible way that my marriage could have been salvaged, I still have these moments.

I accept them, and it’s ok.

I spent too many years after my divorce trying to pretend that I was fine. Stuffing down my feelings and soldiering on because it was so painful and I was full of so much grief.

Today, I understand that it is a lot healthier to share, talk about it, acknowledge it, and surrender to it with grace. It happens to all of us who have been through divorce.

When I do that, I feel infinitely better. It happens almost immediately.

And if you STILL need a bit of cheering up after reading the above article, here are 3 cheeky little things that you can be grateful for on the big day:

• No annoying family members that you used to have to deal with on your ex’s side of the family.

• No couple fights.

• You get to choose any new traditions or how you want to spend your Christmas day because there’s no need for negotiations about what happens at your home. 🙌

I started this newsletter as a way to encourage and support as many people as I could through divorce.

I’ll be thinking of all of you on Christmas day. I know that some of us will have days that are better than others, depending on the circumstances and where we are in our divorce journeys.

But one thing I can guarantee you is this, you are definitely not alone.

Until next week,

Carol ❤️

If you’re considering working with me in 2024 to start healing and rebuilding after your divorce, you can check out my coaching packages here or book a free discovery call here.

If you know anyone who could benefit from reading this, please consider sharing it with them ❤️